I’m going to give you some simple steps to maximize your stress.
You know, stress is really something that we don’t have enough of in this day and age. There is good stress and there’s bad stress. I want to help you get as much stress in your life as possible.
That way you can be stronger, more resilient, and just overall a better person. Because when we are totally tapped out with stress, we are more patient, more kind, more loving, beautiful, healthy people.
We don’t have any problems with weight gain or hormonal imbalances or mood imbalances or problems with sleep. We don’t wake up with a racing brain. We’re ultimately so much more patient with our spouse and our co-workers.
Step One
Step number one, I would absolutely say yes to everything! I would be all in on everything that people asked me to do. I would let everyone else use my time and I wouldn’t leave anything for myself.
I would just let everybody else steal my time away. This is probably the most effective way to maximize my stress, leaving no time for myself or my family.
Step Two
Step number two, I would allow that stress and that lack of time to eat away at my time to prepare healthy food for me. Therefore, I’d be able to eat on impulse, this is really just the easiest hack to make certain that you’re getting the right balance of food and calories.
If it’s coming out of a box, a can or a drive thru window, that is a thumbs up, absolutely eat it, let it sit in your gut, and just kind of ruminate there. That will increase the amount of toxins and sugar in your body.
I would completely ignore the amount of sugar that I was eating and eat sugar free things filled with artificial sweeteners.
Step Three
Step number three, I would dehydrate myself. When we are chronically dehydrated it is going to lower my metabolism, increase my brain fog, lower my cognition and hurt my brain.
That just helps us so much at increasing my overall stress and then I have to really rely on my willpower. Water is the WD 40 for the body and helps my joints move, helps my cells move, helps my metabolism increase, helps with weight loss, brain clarity so definitely avoid water if you want stress.
Step Four
Now step number four is to have a social media overload. I would spend a lot of time on social media just simply scrolling, being envious of other people’s vacations, watching other people you know live life. I would spend as much time on social media as possible. That’s a great way to maximize my emotional stress.
There are three different kinds of stressors, physical, chemical, and emotional. And if we’re going to say yes to everything, if we’re going to start comparing our lives to everybody else that’s really going to help maximize and cap out the emotional stress.
If we allow everybody else to take our time for us, and we’re just simply getting the next quickest, easiest meal that’s going to maximize our chemical stressors.
Step Five
Step 5 would be watching the news. Hearing all the violence and negative things happening around us will maximize my fight and flight response, keeping me in a constant adrenaline mood, never allowing my body to simply calm down and relax.
Step Six
Lastly step 6 I would never exercise, I would simply store up as much energy as possible, waiting for the right moment to maximize the amount of stress that my body can go under.
I would never even set foot in the gym, or go on a walk or lift weights or do a workout with a partner. I would just simply live my life pretending like everything’s fine.
Conclusion
These are the simple steps that I would do to maximize stress. In review , I would say yes to everything,eat on impulse, which is going to lead to too much sugar, carbs and artificial sweeteners. I would dehydrate myself, so I wouldn’t drink any water. I would have social media on constantly. That would dictate how I feel about myself, and I would never hit the gym or exercise.
Obviously, I’m being sarcastic. Obviously this is a joke, and I would do the exact opposite. I am Dr. Forrest Sauer and I write these blogs because there are enough people that are fat, sick and depressed in America and I don’t want you to be one of them!
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Dr. Sauer
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